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Kainashi No Yoru Ni; Copyright KillreSD@aol.com
Topic Started: Jun 3 2007, 11:32 PM (88 Views)
VirtuaFantice
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Wriggly Worm
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Im not sure of any of you remember but i had a character named Nara...He was a blue fox demon n such :P well hes been upgraded to completion and ive been developing his storyline for a few years now and currently im writing it up ^_^ this is the first page of Saga 1: The Demon Within. this page pretty much is the summery into the saga...and this saga is also not very big to begin with...i call it the Introduction Saga in which the main characters are being introduced ^^; Well this is it:

Quote:
 
Gruesome can life be, where even angels may lose their wings and plummet into deaths core like fireflies having met with the harsh winters breeze.  Even mothers must face its cruely. To bring new life into the world while knowing its fate is to one day parish and be known only through history.  However, beings are able to live with this fact and survive by living their lives to the fullest and achieving as much as they possibly could before death swallows them whole.  Some even manage to ignore fate by tuning it out of their lives only to later face the reality of deaths existance.  For years it had become mankinds goal to find a way to completly change their fate forever...so that they may live without fear of death, and to achieve immortality.

Gradually, the desire for immortality died down having failed in the search for deaths remody.  In recent years, beings not of human decent appeared.  Many causing no trouble, others creating chaos and fear.  They became known as demons and were shunned upon.  But the demons bore what some humans still desired and that was immortality or at least close enough to it.

However, the true immortal demon appeared in the forest near Nara, Japan not long after humans began to establish a foundation of religion.  She was known as Misuzu the Fox Maiden and had unusual long green hair and morbid red eyes.  It was rumoured that she was the messenger of Inari the rice god, brought to reveal the senjutsu.  Once again, the longing for immortality was on the rise.  Even if the rumour was false, many men still set out baring gifts in hope to exchange them for the secret of immortality.  All failed and never returned back home.  Keeping the gifts, she had created an oasis out of their bones around the dusk willow in which she dwelling.  It remained this way for a very long time until a man named Kamiya Sousuke came to her with no gift but instead a proposition He would bare her a family, while in return she give him her eternity.  Believing this would be an interesting ordeal she agreed to his proposal and gave up her immortality.  However, she did not give him it.  Instead, she created illusions using magic, to trick him into believing he was truely immortal because even she knew that a human with eternal life was hardly even human at all and the power would most likely be abused. She lived a moderate life disguised as a mortal for many months.  And finally on the ninth month, she bore their son.  Strangely it wasnt a suprise that afterwards Kamiya turned against her and the child.  Being too weak to provide any strength to save the baby, she was unable to keep him from killing it. His reason, of course, was that they had both done both parts of the deal, thus the deal was finished and he would exterminate all that had remained of it.  Injured from his attacks, she fled back to the demon realm, after removing the spell returning him back to his normal human disposition.  Kamiya, angered by being tricked himself, burried the body of the child benieth the dusk willow Misuzu had harvested, and commited suicide beside the grave.  Even now the willow stands as a thrilling relic of the past.
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VirtuaFantice
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Wriggly Worm
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im not sure about the first paragraph of the actual chapter for Saga 1...
can someone check on it for me and tell me what u think ^^ thankies:


Quote:
 
In the heart of the land where demons roamed, a lonely heart was aching for fortitude. Her cold skin was pressed against the dusk willow she harvested from the depts of her very soul; Eager to die, awaiting for some fool to stumble by her side and rescue her from misery. The womans long green hair coiled like a snake around her sleek body as she lay against the dense trunk.  Surrounding her were hundreds of fancy treasures hidden in the shade, many of which were so rare and full of richness that they attracted several bandits to the area.  However, each who attempted had failed in stealing the prizes which had been given to her many years before by men seeking glory. They held too much value to her that kept her from letting them go so easily. Memories in which her past had refused to forget.  It was in this day and age that her life was nearing to the edge of its limits due to those memories that rendered her to not fight against death as it came closer and closer.  Thinking about how she had lost her only dignity in those times, she hadnt even noticed the young gentleman standing before her.  When she finally realized it, she looked up to see that the young man was a bandit most likely after her treasures. His long calico hair was tied into a ponytail and his dark robes blew in the wind before her.  She was astonished to see that this man was as handsome as he was but never once took her eyes off his.  She had at once noticed that he was carrying a lumpy sack and came to the conclusion that he had just finished one of his raids.  She continued to stare at him, body going limp from too much excitement. When he finally made a movement, it was not towards her, but back into the woods where he came from.  She expected to see him again shortly because she knew he had most likely already made the decision to steal her treasures. The next day was just as she had presumed.  The young man was again standing in the same spot as the day before. She was again laid out against the willows thick trunk.
Within a few minutes of staring at one another, the man made his move. He opened his mouth to speak.

"You know," he began.  "You have quite a rare selection of items i couldnt help but notice yesterday." He grinned. "but i noticed one flaw with them." He began walking towards her.
Startled, she quickly responded, "And what would that be?"
"They have been damaged with tears worth much suffering." he explained. "They are of no value in that case since the tears have disolved all happyness that they may have once held with the memories of their own." he closed his eyes. "Thats why i have decided to not waste my time with taking them since i will have no use for such depressed things" he simply turned away and began walking.

Confused she quickly rose to her feet. "You insult my treasures and simply walk away just like that?"she shouted out. "Have you no shame!?"

The man just lifted his hand into the air and waved. "We both probably lack such a thing." he said in a soft whisper and continued to walk away.

i know it has many flaws so please dont be too kind on me, after all, Criticism will help me improve :P and i know...i suck at life xD
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